Question:

Something I never thought about -- funerals for killers...

...I've only been to a couple of funerals in my life and all but 2 were for folk who died of old age. The other two were an accident victim and a guy who died in Vietnam. This Sunday our choir is singing at the funeral for the son of a couple who are members not of my church, but of our sister church. Tuesday night, this young man (he was 25) shot and killed his wife, then killed himself. Apparently, they were arguing about drinking. As far as I know, neither one were members of the church, but most likely he was raised in that church. (Understand that we have only been attending our church for a few months so we don't know everyone well and have no memories of their grown-and-gone children, particularly those from the sister church.)

Anyway, it just seems a bit strange to me, and I wonder what the service will be like. All the others I've attended were for people who were active members who, so far as anyone knew, had no major "sins" in their lives. This one is different. It makes me wonder...When people are executed for crimes, do their families collect the bodies and take them home to be buried? Do they have services for them? What do they say?

We humans have such difficulty with forgiveness-- we know we *ought* to forgive, but we often can't bring ourselves to do it. I'm glad it's not up to us! I'm also glad I'm not the minister who has to deal with the issue. I'm not sure I could find anything to say other than platitudes, as such things are so far beyond my comprehension. It's such a fine line to walk between seeming to condone what has been done and recognizing that most of us have, at one time or another, felt the urge to do something so drastic. We can only be thankful that we had the strength to resist and not take that path. Maybe that's *why* we have such difficulty with forgiveness-- because we *have* resisted those urges and can't understand why someone else couldn't resist, also. In the end, I guess it's not up to us to forgive, that is God's domain, because-- I suppose-- God *does* understand what drives people to such ends.

Our lot seems to be to comfort the living, which is what funerals are about in our culture. That's a much easier job, as we can all empathize with how much it hurts to lose a child, regardless of the circumstances. Today, I give my ds extra hugs, and pray that he will never find himself without the strength to resist evil, that he will never do something so final it can't be fixed, only survived





Answer:

One benefit of a Common liturgy...

is that minister doesn't have to find anything to say. I have commented ironically before that I would like to revert to Islam just before I die so I could have a civilized funeral: Muslims believe that, as we are all brought utterly equal in death, so every funeral is completely equal. There are no fancy caskets to compare to plain pine boxes, no elequent eulogies to compare to forced platitudes. The prayer and worship are all.

The traditional Anglican service has no place in it for a sermon or eulogy. Most Anglican clergy insert one in keeping with North American cultural practice. I don't think it adds anything. The greater part of the liturgy is straight from the Bible anyway; there's not much you can add to that in the face of the terrible absoluteness of any death.

There simply *are* no words for some experiences; for some depths of feeling. In those circumstances, the Spirit gives us words to pray. I suspect one of the reasons glossalalia is as rare as it is among Anglicans is that the Spirit has already given us the wonderful prayer-language of our liturgies. Where the pentecostal finds expression for the unspeakable by crying out in tongues, the Anglican finds herself chanting "Agnus Dei". In this case, that is very appropriate: "Oh Lamb of God, have mercy upon us, have mercy upon us, grant us Thy peace."