Question:

I would like to have my daughter baptised, but I am uncomfortable with the wording of the baptism service in the 1979 BCP. Do you know of a kinder, gentler format. My DH does this Southern Baptist, hellfire-and-brimstone preacher voice whenever we discuss the question "Do you renounce Satan...?

Answer:

The essential elements of baptism are...

that it must be performed by a baptized Christian, with sufficient water that it flows or pours, using the words "*name*, I baptise you in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit".

You could do this for your son at home in the bathtub: it would be irregular and your priest -- or even your Bishop -- would probably have stern words with you, but it would be a valid Baptism.

You should know this when you talk to your rector, because while you can't expect him/her to change *that* part, s/he *may* have some freedom to change anything else. The part that you object to are "The Promises". The three-fold promise made at baptism is to

 1) renounce evil
 2) turn to Christ
 3) obey God

Perhaps you could persuade your priest to ask for the promises using those words only. The 1662 wording is even worse IMO:

 "I demand therefore: Do you (in the nbame of this Child)
  renounce the devil and all his works, the vain pomp and glory
  of the world, with all covetous desires of the same, and the
  sinful desies of the flesh, so that you will not follow nor
  be led by them? <answer> I do.<priest> Let us recite the
  Articles of our belief...<the Aposltes Creed>...Do you, in
  the name of this Child, profess this faith? <answer> I
  do.<priest> Do you, in the name of this Child, acknowledge
  the duty to keep God's holy will and commandments, walking
  stedfastly in the Way of Crist? <answer> I do."

The old presbyterian wording for the same three promises is

 "Do you confess that because of your sinfulness you abhor and
  humble yourself before God, and that you trust for salvation
  not in yourself but in the Lord Jesus Christ alone?
  Do you acknowledge Jesus Christ as your sovereign Lord and do
  you promise, in reliance on the grace of God, to serve him
  with all that is in you, to forsake the world, to mortify
  your sinful nature, and to lead a godly life?
  Do you agree to submit in the Lord to the govenment of this
  church and, in case you should be found delinquent in
  doctrine or life, to heed its discipline?"

I don't particularly like that one, either. The new "Common Worship" gives the promises as

"Do you reject the devil and all rebellion against God?
 Do you renounce the deceit and corruption of evil?
 Do you repent of the sins that separate us from God and neighbour?
 Do you turn to Christ as Saviour?
 Do you submit to Christ as Lord?
 Do you come to Christ, the way, the truth and the Life?"

Common Worship also allows the following alternative form "where there are strong pastoral reasons":

 Therefore I ask:
 Do you turn to Christ? <answer> I turn to Christ.
 Do you repent of your sins? <answer> I repent of my sins.
 Do you renounce evil? <answer> I renounce evil.

I think that last is the mildest, and most traditional. The Lutheran Book of Worship has:

The LBW promises are:

Do you renounce all forces of evil, the devil, and all his empty promises? <answer> I renounce them.

Do you believe in God the Father? <answer> I believe in God, the Father almighty, etc.

Do you believe in Christ? <answer> I believe in Jesus Christ, God's only Son, etc.

Do you believe in God the Spirit? <answer> I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic church, etc.

and that's the whole or the promises!