Question:

I feel guilty, but when I do go to church, I want to go alone, have some peace, get into my head. and not be real social (not mean, just peaceful). I am more interested in the mental aspects than the physical. I love to go early (me and the old folks) and have a really nice mellow service.



Answer:

Contemplative worship is a well-respected tradition with strong scriptural roots. Jesus himself went off into the wilderness, or up onto the hillside to pray. Especially for introverts, contemplative worship is a source of spiritual strength. It recharges one's spiritual batteries. Noon-hour eucharists in the cathedral chapel, 6-a.m. Matins before work; evensong on the way home from the office: these are luxuries that I miss now that they are no-longer available to me given my schedule and changes in the offering of those Services. Our beloved Matins and Evensong derive, in fact, from the Daily Office of contemplative monastic communities. Cranmer's intention in combining the eight traditional offices into three and putting them in the BCP, was that every Christian should have a *daily* pattern of contemplative prayer to sustain him through his secular life.

The *error* in contemplative worship, is when it becomes a replacement for the regular worship of the gathered Church. When the whole Church gather for weekly worship, it is inherently *not* contemplative. The Church includes emphesematic old men with rattling coughs; wriggling excited two-year-olds; deaf grandmothers who say "Eh, Speak UP!" in overmodulated stage whispers, teenagers bubbling over with the love of life in 9/8 rock rhythms, Asperger's and autism and Tourettes and dementia sufferers all doing their best to keep their meds balanced and their behaviours acceptable, nursing mothers and distracted fathers and fascinated five-year-olds saying "Mama, what did he *mean*" throughout the sermon, the fat lady who sings out of tune, a couple charismatics who shout "Amen" while lifting Holy Hands, and a homeless drunk snoring on the back pew. These *are* the church every bit as much as we well-bred and well-dressed adults who can sing a-capella plain-chant and recite the entire office from memory.

When a congregation decides to bar or shun those unaesthetic elements of the church, it stops *being* the Church. When Christians decide they will recharge their batteries at the contemplative service and avoid contact with the fuller fellowship of the church, they gradually choke themselves off from the Vine. It's obvious -- to "get" without giving is outside of the Christian norm. Remember, our Daily Offices come from the monastic pattern, but even monastic communities that use daily contemplative worship to stoke the fires of the spiritual life, still worship on Sunday with their parish. What I suggested Trish on the previous board; of scheduling sung Matins during the Sunday-School hour and then having the Eucharist (possibly after coffee) for the whole community together is a traditionally correct way to meet both needs, well adapted for modern schedules. The combination of the two services is actually suggested in the rubrics of the traditional (1662) Book of Common Prayer. Karen's method of noon-hour worship is another; I try to get up early enough to recite Morning Prayer before breakfast which is yet a third option.

Contemplative worship sets prayer before God like an offering of incense. The gathering of the Church is celebratory, a bubbling over of the Spirit; full measure, pressed down, running over. A full Christian life needs both.